D D blog to connect all the members!

Please make a note of that!

Now I am writing about “bridging the gap.”

Well, for me, those 2 phrases mean the same thing.

Given is that:

There are 2 extremes, and I am a filler or a bridge.

Anyway, I have 2 dreams.

1. To be able to provide resources for those who “need” them.

2. To be able to destroy mental blocks as well as crossing the physical barriers.

Physical barriers…hmmm…that’s interesting.

This post (possible all the posts on this blog) means nothing to those who happen to stop by and read.

That’s okay, because I am writing for my own sake.

Getting tired….

I should say that I am easily bored with an idea too soon.

If I learn to stick to one thing for a certain period of time, I know I am able to produce something good.

What is preventing me from sticking to an idea, a project, etc?

It might be because of linear thinking?

Or, is there something else?

It’s “taking down the walls.”

This is what I am called for.

Looking at my personal history.

Looking at what I am doing right now.

Looking at what I am interested in.

All comes down to this simple and yet powerful slogan:

Taking down the walls…for what?

To eliminate inequality.

To make peace.

To avail resources to those who yearn.

That is my calling.

Not quite.

It’s lifestyle match!

 Entreprenuership Lifestyle

Life Optimizer 

Technotheory 

 Cute Interior

Apartment Therapy 

RugMark 

“You know you have the ability to do such a thing…”

I have always encouraged my friends like that.  Those remarks were not merely based on “white lies.”  I truly believed they could if they really wanted to.

Well, it is easy to encourage others, but hard to push myself.

In fact, I realized that I don’t love myself as much as I do others.

That’s insane.

I have always used up all my resources for others, and for the loved ones, I knew I would sacrifice my life.

Then, why can’t I do that to myselfe?!  Why can’t I love myself that much so that I would risk anything?!  Where is this coming from?

By showing such love, do I secretly hope that someday someone might love me back?

It seems to be true.

I am not worthy of love, but others are.  This has been the hidden mantra.

I knew it somewhere, but I hadn’t dare admitted it.

I know what past experiences influenced in formning such low self-esteem.  I thought I had already recovered from it.  (I cannot share the stories here because this blog is too public, even though no one comes to visit it.)

However, recent work situation brought back that memory, and I feel stuck in the ditch.

Hello, depressed self, how are you?  Yeah right, I am depressed.

In the last half year, I could feel that I was not being myself.  No one believes that, but it is true.

You could say I am ill.

Besides the painful past experiences, I think my believe that I should devote myself to others’ needs comes from my mother’s mantra: “You are strong, good, and healthy kid.”

I don’t want to pretend that I am strong.

I am sick of being good.

I don’t want to fake that I am healthier than I really am.  (I want to say it hurts when it does.)

Don’t take me wrong.  I am not complaing about my mother’s mantra.  I appreciate the way she raised me.  However, I have witnessed how she lived her life that way.  She never complained about being mistreated by my father (her husband).

And I carry that burden.

Well, to tell you the truth, it was the first time that I realized this.  So, I am grateful for having such a great coaching session.

Thank you, Coach Nishimura.

I had my first coaching session at groundwork in Osaka.

I met this coach on January 13th at a seminar on “choice.”

Because I was intrigued by the quality of her questions, I really wanted to talk to her, Coach Nishimura.

I began noticing a recurring theme during the 2-hour-session.

Well, my main purpose of being coached today was to find what I really would like to do in my life.  It seems endless to discuss this by myself, and I literally needed some help.

I noticed:

1. I am fricking afraid of making mistakes; therefore, taking the first step.

2. I am fricking afraid of stepping out of the regular, foreseeable lifestyle, even though I claim to be adventurous.  (Conflicting myself….)

3. By being very conscious of how others percieve of me, I realized that I had (have) been hiding the fact that I may not love my self that much.  By being TOO kind to others and not at all kind to myself, I realized that I may not love my self that much.

4. It all comes down to my past experiences of not valuing what I am, who I am.

5. It then leads to what I wanto to do.  By helping become who I want to be and who I think I really am,  I could help thousands of others who might be feeling self-less, unconfident, and mis-perceived.

This is something I need to work on right away, and by digging this, I am 150% sure that I will get what I want.

Try to millionairize!

That’s the key!

I have been searching for what I love to do, and I began seeing the glimps of what to become of such pondering.

It started with the thought of living in Lyon, France with my sweetheart.

If I were to be living in Lyon in 3 months, how would I plan the coming 3 months?

If I were to be living in Lyon in 3 months, how would I plan the coming month?

The coming week? Today?

Recently I read “sennnouryoku” by Mr. Tomabechi. In the book, he talks about the concept of time. In that, he explains that the past does not create the future, but vice versa.

At the first reading, I had no clue what he was talking about.

Then, I began pondering.

By planning to live in Lyon in 3 months, my mind started to imagine my day in Lyon.

I began thinking of how to accomplish that lifestyle. What will I be doing in 2 months from now? A month from now? A week from now? And ultimately today?

Then, an interesting idea hit upon me.

Well, if I can think like this about living in Lyon, I can apply this practice to virtually anything.

How does my life look like in 3 months from now?

Can I clearly picture it?

Then, what should I be doing now to get there?